Last week, I finally came out to my timeline on my personal Facebook and told everyone I know that I used to suffer from bulimia nervosa. It tormented me for seven years, and I even had it while I was running a full-service restaurant. If you haven’t read the post, I’ve posted it on Medium for you to read here.
The amount of love and support that I have received is absolutely unimaginable. Many of my friends apologized to me, saying that they wish they knew at the time so they they could have given me the support I needed. Of course, it was never their fault, but they felt shame and guilt for not realizing the pain that I was in.
That post showed me that there is so much love around me, in places and people, where I didn’t even know love could exist.
And that’s why it was so important for me to post that message in the first place.
If you are in a position where you are desperately searching for support, know that it’s there. There may be things fogging up your mind right now, but you have many many people around you that will love you and support you. And I am one of them.
Thank you for being here.
Now that the mushy stuff is out of the way, I want to share with you an integral part that started me on my journey back to health.
As smart, over-achieving performers, we often set lofty goals.
Goals so HUGE that it feels like it’s going to take forever to get there. And then what happens?
We don’t celebrate the tiny baby steps of progress that we make!
It’s obvious that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and this couldn’t have been more true in my case. I literally had to learn how to eat again. It was the babiest of baby steps! I had forgotten a basic life skill for seven years but for some reason I thought I could learn it again overnight.
I wanted a magical button that would heal me.
I promised myself every day that I would behave. But then whenever I strayed from my original plan, I felt worthless and stupid.
I didn’t realize that I stuck to my plan for A WHOLE WEEK sometimes, versus only three days the week before. It didn’t matter that I ate socially and spent time with friends (something which I love doing) because I messed up my diet like the stupid idiot that I knew I was.
We are all human. Mistakes are inevitable.
It took me years before I realized that I didn’t have to beat myself up for them any more. I realized that ONE LITTLE victory is still a victory to be celebrated.
And that’s what I’m hoping that you’ll realize too.
Think about it, what did you do this week that you can celebrate? Remember, there is no win too big or too small.
For me, sometimes the times between my purges were only a few hours. But eventually I was able to stretch it to just one day. That’s a whole 24 hours without hurting myself. Hey, that’s pretty amazing.
That was a small win.
But if I didn’t have that small win, I wouldn’t be here and discussing this with you today. That tiny win led to a series of events that led to bigger and bigger wins.
So now I want you to post a comment and tell me:
What’s a small win you’ve had this week that you can celebrate?
Tell me, because I want to celebrate it with you.